Yesterday, I had to make a plus/delta chart on my professional self. As part of the big national movement that I am associated with, you have to have a meeting with the director of your site your second year to discuss what you will offer the movement when you are finished with your 2-year commitment.

So, I had to list the things I consider my assets and my liabilities in the workforce and in my personal interactions.

Plus--I love getting to know people. I maintain relationships with people I find interesting and I know will be a good friend. I am highly enthusiastic and I love getting involved in activities I find beneficial to either myself or others. I don't quit, even after being given many difficult obstacles to overcome.

Delta--I am very afraid of making large changes in my life. I am very hesitant in carrying through ideas that I may have come up with. I am willing to envision, but not follow through, unless with the support of at least one other person. I tend to over-analyze every situtation and not jump head first into activities without evaluating the pros and cons.

The director agreed with everything I said. We went through a list of possible professions/lifestyles I came up with for after spring 2008, which is as follows:

1. Continue teaching in the ABQ area, possibly teach at UNM without pursuing further school. This is the safest route, considering that my parents have offered to put a down payment on a house if I decide to live here.

2. Graduate school. Clearly not at UNM, since I have earned my BA and MA there. Involves a move, no money, and of course, I have no idea about what I would study. Because I like not knowing what I want in life. Ha.

3. A job with the national organization. There are many different kinds of jobs--recruiting, cultivating new members, stuff in NY in the national office.

4. Teaching abroad. Perhaps finally becoming fluent in Greek. I wouldn't know anyone there, a new adventure...but aren't I getting a little old?

5. Something completely different that I haven't even been able to fathom yet.

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After discussing each possibility with the director, he brought up some really good points. He couldn't see me cultivating the new members, because I tend to ignore or disassociate myself from people I don't like or find interesting.

His advice? Try the recruiting for awhile, which involves lots of travel, which I love, gain residency in a state I wouldn't mind getting into grad school, and figure out something that I would want to dedicate years of my life to.

It's nice getting a person to evaluate you from a fresh perspective. I've been thinking about what I want to do in 2008 for the past three months and I have just gotten progressively more confused. I made it clear to him that my family and friends are very important and why that would make a move difficult. I also expressed that I do want to have a family eventually--it's just hard to say that aloud since I'm a single woman in a time where everyone my age of my sex seems to be in a serious relationship. It doesn't bother me that I'm not, but it does give a timeline of their lives in relation to mine. In some ways, I've accomplished a lot in my 23 years. In others, I'm completely naive.

But I think that is what makes life interesting.

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My big goals for this year:

1) Learn more Greek.
2) Write a book and stop talking about possibly writing one. Lord knows I have enough ideas rattling around in my head.
3) Cook more.
4) Go to Europe this summer again.
5) Pay off most of the car.